did you get engaged???
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
