Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
