I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
