everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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