There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
