i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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