Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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