dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Randomize
