So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
