Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
