Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
