WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
