so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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