I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
