meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
