i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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