I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
