I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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