im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You smell like stripper and shame
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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