Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
