i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
And then my night got REAL pukey
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
