There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
