Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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