Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
