My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
