I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
