I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
