this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
