i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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