I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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