He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
