some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize