there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
