At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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