oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize