I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
