How'd it feel making her break her religion?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize