not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
