guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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