oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
