I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
