sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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