You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
are you so shy because you have an std?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Congratulations! We have a period
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
