Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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