i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
