WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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