Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
