i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize