She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
