In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
