oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
