Dual....:-)
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
