This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
