I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
