oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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