Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
