I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
