some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
