I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
