Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
