I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
